I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
