I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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