She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
