I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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