I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
