Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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