I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize