Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
