Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
