dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
