anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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