They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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