ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
