So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
What a dumb baby whore.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Randomize
