Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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