I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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