in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize