Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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