So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
