so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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