Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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