it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
