The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
