in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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