Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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