So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
