It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
