well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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