I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
