doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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