she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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