Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We had sex on a dog bed..
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
