Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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