come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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