watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
