those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
worst night to have a conscience
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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