I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think your dad took our porno
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
