I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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