...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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