I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
