She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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