Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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