so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Sober January is a disaster.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
