and she was petting her beer can
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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