just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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