i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
