therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
