Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
