I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
