i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
