fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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