he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My breasts were aching with rage.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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