You're a womanizer and a bitch.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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