Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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