Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
