.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
