I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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