Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
