Already got asked if we're dating
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
PANTIES FOUND
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize