Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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