thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
