my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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