she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
