Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i drank out of a bidet.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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