Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
