and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
