Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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