Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize