You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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