Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You brought string cheese to the strip club
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
